Life has a weird way of making you have to reassess it all whenever you decide to quit things and that's where I am with this whole writing thing. I basically had a host of anxiety and depression lead me to have to end a thing I was doing because the lack of proper fulfillment was a real son of a bitch and a half that's for sure and after being such a narcissist that had to end his personal project in a the most self fulfilling way that was throwing a show completely on my own dime with enough people awkwardly patting me on the back for what I kind of wasn't sure was really all that special I was kind of left in an awkward state of being relieved that I wasn't trying to write something substantial anymore but at the same time crushed in the knowledge that I had completely lost a personal connection to listening to music or going to shows so much so to a point that I may have grown to personally detest going out and listening to live music in general.
I have nothing to really add to the discourse and nobody around me has any essence of an idea of what I am trying to express in this passion of listening so many individuals are just overly dismissive or numbed to a point of just making a meme out of it all that I don't honestly see a fucking point to even trying to do this thing anymore that's kind of why I just ended up taking my ball and fucking going home there was no reason for me to even put an effort in anymore.
The thing about life is that it goes on and even if I'm not covering things there's places and people who are doing things there's local podcast doing their thing to expose local acts who are putting out great stuff and there's plenty of online critics gaining headway in some capacity and I get this feeling the sonic landscape has changed....the only thing that doesn't change is every dickhead that want's to tell me that it's alright to like what you like because we all have different taste to which I say with the most gleeful expressiveness I can conjure up to shut the fuck up, let people who know some iota of what they're talking about do the discussions, or at the very fucking least provide an interesting point that's not you just being an internet troll otherwise I kind of don't really care to deal with those things in my life I'm getting on in years and I already deal with my fair share of dumb non-intellectually stimulating discussions on the daily.
Unlike politics entertainment has a certain aspect to it where you can disagree and argue but you're not actively putting the lives of millions at risk for thinking some band/film/video game/ect. Are good, great, shit, or trash you're just simply expressing some level of passionate discourse that helps provide some sense of purpose in giving a flying fuck all about these things and a the end of the day we all need some sense of worth and validation otherwise we're just shell's walking on by listening to fluff.
I don't have anything to achieve anymore so fuck it let's just say something ya bunch of fucking assholes strap on in and give me something to talk about otherwise it's not like I ain't use to nobody paying attention to me anyways.
Mark your calendars Monday December 16th 2019 I got some stuff to cover more specifically the best of this quiet year.
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