Sam's Top 5 WORST SONGS of 2017

SO 2017 is about in the fucking books and OH BUDDY what a fucking year it was I'd honestly go to say that the music released this year wasn't nearly of the horrid quality that I can recall last year being but in all honesty it was a year of complete and utter NOTHING....minus of course my year end list which was ONLY THE BEST plus a few songs here and there that I missed due to me not giving a single fuck all about the radio I figured fuck it, fuck this year, fuck the radio, and FUCK the following set of songs that I'm about to mention because I haven't really done much bashing on this little blog of mine because everybody's an asshole just look at our commander in cunt we have serving but you know since I haven't been getting fucked up once a week for the past few months and I have a variety of pent up frustrations that I'm not going to go TOO into I figure I'd post to you guy's my picks for the top 5 WORST songs of 2017 and as a bonus every time you see me use a profanity of some variety take a shot cause that's honestly the only way I could think of muscling through the string of cancerous noise I'm about to slog through as I listen to the following tunes and tell you just HOW FUCKING AWFUL THEY ARE so get your shot glasses ready cause we're all gonna get fucked up.

(Links to all the selected levels of awful are in the names of each of the selections for the off chance you'd want to subject yourself to this torture which I here at Sam's Song of the Day to not endorse nor do I take any responsibility for any loss of hearing, common sense, or desire to live)

5. Halsey

No that's not a typo folks to start this list I'm just going to put down an “ARTIST” that I kind of wish would just like to you know just go away.

I can't lie the Florida Georgia line exist so music literally can't get any worse which is about the nicest thing I can say about this waste of sperm and egg that is the Tumblr post personified that is Halsey the most dull and lifeless waste of musical air in existence and for some odd reason dumb ass basic bitches seem to want to support this so called artist and her same old same old trying to hard to be meaningful but just coming off bitchy tunes that use the most boring ass Trap beats, paper thin lyrics, a voice that sounds like Lorde and Ellie Goulding decided to do the fusion dance but lose all personality, and complete lack of any real reason to honestly listen to any more than the amount of time it takes you to immediately change the radio station.

It's honestly saying something when the only decent thing's this person has done is 1. make a song that's only good because it sounds like the only good Lorde song in existence(Ghost it's a knock off of Tenis court and yes Lorde sucks get over it your music taste are shit if you disagree with me) and 2. just barely be the better vocalist on a Chainsmokers tune and beyond that I don't know why she's been blessed with the success she has.

I can't point out any tune in particular because just hearing her on any given track should be enough to signal that the track is shit and you really should change it and never have it rotated again because you're only supporting cancer and nobody wants to do that.

4. Look What You Made Me Do-Taylor Swift

This song is the Donald Trump of pop music it succeeded tremendously even though we ALL KNOW it was a mistake against humanity and only now after it's damage has been done are we now realizing the mistake that was made.

Yet even with that being common knowledge only the most mentally devoid of any intelligence continue to support this garbage with some awkward preconceived notion that it's actually really good and  you only dislike it because of the fake liberal conspiracy brainwashing you to not follow the truest form of freedom which is the complete submission to the Conservative Christian agenda where all your personal rights should be taken away, your lifestyle demonized, you learn to hate brown folks, and you bow before a god that rules over all.......SORRY sorry I got a bit distracted there my inner conspiracy nut was coming through where were we again....OH yea this piece of fucking basic white bitch pumpkin spiced shit brew of a tune.

Ok let's be real here this song is every critics punching bag because it's a fairly ok first minute that immediately devolved into the mot obnoxious chorus that is a bit too similar to one hit wonders of the 90's that were never good even in a so bad it's good kind of way they were just always awful and I'm more than sure before we know it this song will be yet another Buzzfeed article of under appreciated tunes that were unjustly hated for their time to which at that time I'll still tell you that this song is garbage.

3. Po-Dunk-Kid Rock

So if the last song was like Donald Trump I'd have to say that this song is what I'd assume the vast majority of Midwestern supporters of his head's sound like just the whitest of white trash nonsense.

I can't lie this piece of human filth may be a real genius because I've never heard an artist that knows their audience any better than this hillbilly fuck nut because for some odd reason I'll never understand why but Midwestern white folk fucking love this guy and his special brand of Hick Hop cultural decay and no song has managed to ever so successfully showcase why Country and Rap shouldn't ever be mixed....well the second most successful showcasing because again Florida Georgia please go die in a fucking plane crash you fucking asshole Line does still exist but god damn with the video included this song is an exceptionally perfect personification of why I personally think people hate cultural appropriation so much just to quote a person I know who is actually a fan of not only this guy's music but the genre he pioneered and coined as, “pure white trash.”

Yes sir let me tell you what I do believe this song is pure and utter white trash just some straight up no good garbage music by a garbage person who for some reason or another through used food stamps, dirty heroin needles, and chewing tobacco spit filled Budwiser cans like our commander in cuckhold is for some reason or another still famous and liked by a host of brainwashed Islam hating nitwits.

GOD BLESS THE FUCKING U.S.A.

Ugh and the best part of all of this is that since I'm a nobody this cock knocker will never probably read what I have to say I mean I doubt he has the reading comprehension skills to really understand actual walls of text but hey even if that isn't the case he's the type of mother fucker that well to quote the man, “Don't give a flying hillbilly fuck!”

But with that in mind I do have to say one thing Robert Ritchie I've personally meet quite a few mother fuckers quite like you and I can honestly say you aren't anything special and if you didn't appeal to the lowest common denominator you'd be another junkie in a gutter pitching a fit at our government for making you pay your child support and not sending your food stamps on time eat a dick you white trash piece of shit.

2. Guy's My Age-Hey Violet

Oh hey something I don't have to not so subtlety accidentally add my own personal politics when discuss....wait a minute....SO now that I'm actually listening to this sober I uh.....got some shit to say about this glorified Melanie Martinez meet's Kids Bop track.

This song is utterly disgusting people it glorifies that creeptastic 33 cumming in 16 dude at the party that thinks he's hot shit cause he listens to shit music and fucks dumb ass teens that don't know any better than to like this guy that hooks them up with gutter well booze and weed so they can continue to feel some sense of rebellion.

They listen to this trap beat and lyrics about how they should go for a real mature man that, “Knows how to treat me,” when in all actually you're just easy pray for a human being that needs to grow up themselves and realize their a worthless piece of shit that should really re-evaluate their position in life and actually make a positive change because that kind of mentality isn't healthy to society in any way folks.

NOW if you can get past that ideological flaw in lyrical  presentation this song at it's core is just a pretty paint by the numbers Melanie Martinez track of edge lord lyrics performed by a Lolita who is trying too hard over a beat that to it's credit is a banger but a very one dimensional banger that does nothing more than to provide noise to get fucked up to.

This song compared to the whole of this list is about the closest to a so bad it's good kind of tune but once you really sit down and look at it the flaws are just too strong to really ignore and yet somehow it isn't the worst song of the year because OH I thought alright there's no way this band could do any worse right?!?!?

1. Hoodie-Hey Violet

You know those articles that trash conservative shit posters write about how Millennials ruin everything well it's shit like this that's why those type of articles exist.

MY FUCKING GOD DAMN by allah almighty some how SOME FUCKING HOW a songwriter in a stuido somewhere thought, “You know what's romantic...stealing one's hoodie and you know what those young kids these day's like, they like to use hoodies as a metaphor for long lost love because it smells like their partner because most people don't ever wash them,” and now we have this fucking song, like it's outright total eclipse of the heart levels of cheesy and if I thought these guy's sounded like some Radio Disney Garbage to begin with this song outright is proof bar none that you may as well not even try.

Seriously look up the lyrics to this song before you ever listen to it and tell me that this doesn't just look like some parody song but no they're actually playing it for real this song is suppose to actually be a sentimental ballad of sorts and all the lines about chewing the strings and how there's cigarette burns all over the fabric are suppose to really bring a sense of emotional vulnerability that showcases a long lost love that never was to be that's no fucking joke.

The only way I could think of this actually being of any real quality is to get as fucked up as humanly possible I mean smoke ALLLLLLLLL THE WEED, drink ALLLLLLLLL the beer, and hell why not put some lean in that drink because this song is by far worse than any other song you've heard this year like it's so bad I literally compared 2 other artist on this list to Donald Trump and I still think this is worse this song is so awful it makes me want to go to my nearest mosque pledge my life to Allah and rid myself of all sin and western ideological beliefs because I'm pretty sure I need a reason to live now.

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NAH I'm just fucking with you I'm probably going to just go play tetris and listen to music that doesn't make me want to give up on the world around me and type stupid shit on the internet, but yeah there ya go my picks of the worst songs of the year I hope you never listen to any of this garbage Happy new years and stay tuned for a special post from me on the 29th.

KC Showcase: Kangaroo Knife Fight

Kangaroo Knife Fight

Aside from having a bad ass name this band is one bad ass collective of musicians that make the tightest and most focused rock and roll I've heard in quite some time and I recently got to see them again for their album release party for their new EP The Dark which of course can be bought on iTunes and Google Play and pretty soon after you done reading this little piece I'd very much advise picking up a copy because it's a great collection of live ready tracks that will get your blood pumping and leave you singing along well after it's over.

Every song works really well in a live environment and seeing them bust out Mr. Lovedrunk and Skyfalls with such energy and precision that really can only come from a collective of musicians that very much know what the fuck their doing and have been doing it for quite some time is something of a treat especially when you realize just how good a vocalist Anthony Avis is just throwing himself into each and every song while stomping around and just putting his all out there to give you something to remember and tracks like Mr. Lovedrunk, Hold On, and It's You will surely become solidly great sing along tracks the day the rest of the world get's realizing just how good a live act this band is.

If these guy's come around close to you I'd very much advise going to see them and also getting a copy of both available EP's because Mr. Lovedrunk especially is a track that'll invade your conscious and just never let go.

This band are some of the nicest people who just really make some bad ass well performed and written rock and roll and if you'd like to see them play they'll be playing as a part of the Middle of the map festival Friday May 6^th.

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Sam's Top 20 of 2015 #3

#3 Cocoon-Catfish and the Bottlemen

You know for being a band that's only been on the scene for a short period of time they've managed  to craft out some of the most strongly written and well performed songs that are a level of quality that give you this impression that they have been from a band that's been spending decades crafting these things but no it's only their second single and it already feels like a classic.

It's one of many songs that I got the joyous pleasure of getting to see live and it's an experience like that which solidified this songs place on my list because it's an amazingly simple song that's both heartbreaking and hopeful in it's expressions of, “Fuck it if they talk, fuck it if they try to get to us,” which is an instantaneously impacting line of lyrical awesomeness that you can't help but apply to a lot of things you've been through.

Really just great great music from a band that has a whole lot ahead of them and I can only be excited at the thought of them keeping such a streak or at the very least giving me plenty of opportunity to continually be blown away by this tune.

Also special shoutout to one Kayla Abell for capturing the footage.

Song of the Day 3/5/15

Pardon the lack of proper...eh fuck it you know what's more amusing then it ever should be? Yelling PUUUUPLE RAIN PURPLE RAIN!!!!!

Yeah I kind of need to take a day to just throw together a series of proper song of the day's because as you can tell winging it just doesn't work to well but even so there are plenty of occasions where I find myself wanting to listen to this 8+ minute Magnum Opus of a track that is every good bit emotional as it is great and for whatever reason I keep finding myself coming straight back to it.

Also on a lesser note I finally listened to Purple Rain the album and I have to say it's surprisingly dated in it's production but the songs are still strong as hell...

Sam Reviews A Video: Being Beige-The Smashing Pumpkins

So around midnight or so The Smashing Pumpkins decided to release a new music video for their single "Being Beige," their first since Owata back in 2011 and that was less of an actual video and more of an odd short film involving professional wrestlers which was...unique..but I digress because now we're here at Being Beige and this video is also unique but less in a trying to make a movie but rather showcasing an interesting series of images kind of way.

In some way's the use of a person kind of flailing around on a moving image such as the moon that this video employees is kind of reminiscent of Disarm in a lot of way's with still shots of a very aged and tired looking Billy Corgan just kind of standing there singing this song spliced in between conceptualized imagery that goes from a naked woman on a moon, two naked twins holding each other, said naked twins being lit on fire over the sea on a rock, and some pretty cool shots of a bird all in black and white none-the-less you have a video that's all interesting shots with no real resolve which I personally don't really mind because it's not like he wasn't doing that stuff well over 20+ years ago and at this rate making an interesting little concept film keeps people talking about an already great single so i guess this video is just more interesting then anything.

Feel free to tell me below what you think....

Song of the Day 10/7/14

So when I get drunk I'll occasionally find myself listening to a lot of rock music in Spanish and I'm pretty sure that has to do with my co-workers playing a lot of that stuff all day at work and the fact that some of these songs are catchy as fuck even if I have no idea what they're saying and that's the case with today's pick.

Caramelos De Cianuro they're some rock band that's been doing this since about 1996 or something like that and I remember this song coming on Pandora once and thinking HOLY SHIT this kicks ass....sometimes it doesn't take much thought beyond that people so let's have fun and listen to this trippy little jam.