So of course with every good there’s always a bad and while
last year was dominated by one tune so terrible that I couldn’t honestly think
of any other song to possibly match just how horrendously awful a fucking song
it was just in general I kind of found myself actually struggling to come up
with a list of songs that I didn’t really find to be that bad this year but
even so I managed to come up with a list that I’ll at least manage to say that
it’s not populated with obvious joke tunes like #Selfie by the Chainsmokers
because I can at the very least realize the songs a joke and in all honesty
this year’s selections bar one aren’t honesty that terrible they’re just
mediocre as fuck so let’s quit shooting the shit and tell you guy’s the songs
that sucked the hardest this year my Top 5 worst of 2014…
5. This is how we do-Katy Perry
So there seemed to be this thing in pop music where dumb ass
typical fucking white girl irresponsible song writing and dumbassery was a
thing and of all the shitty tunes that I can recall that did it very
terribly…minus one other song on this list probably had to be one of the worst
in it’s just utter lack of any semi decent quality or hook that most Katy Perry
tunes manage to have that lead me to not just want to continue to wish terrible
acts on here.
Just Dumb irresponsible music through and through is the
only way to really describe this shitty little tune.
4. Rude-Magic!
The Big One hit wonder of the summer has been decided and
for some reason people wanted to hear some half-assed reggae crooning
Canadians…You know I don’t even people like this admittedly isn’t a completely
awful number it’s just about some asshat that is basically telling some dude to
suck it and for whatever reason this was number 1 for god knows how long?
3. Fancy-Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCS
Ok I’ll admit this songs chorus is quite a banger in all
senses of the word and is the ONLY decent thing going because Azalea aside from
looking like Doug sounds like the most typical of white girls doing her best Nicki
Minaj impersonation with verses that are almost as half-assed but without any
charm.
2. All about that Bass-Megan Trainor
So I’m all about tunes or motivational phrases that make us
all feel good about our bodies and the way we are really I am but this song is
not one of those things. NO really just listen to her describe the thin as
skinny silicone Barbie bitches and come to realize this song is an unapologetic
example of body shaming at it’s worst…in the form of a catchy throwback tune
that’s not groovy enough to be Winehouse and nowhere near vocally strong enough
to be Adele so what I initially thought was a joke track kind of morphed into
something that’s gotten a lot more credit than it deserves…so I guess in a way
it did fool everyone.
1.Anaconda-Nicki Minaj
So I’m just going to think that this bitch just
intentionally will make songs so blatantly terrible just to see if it’ll become
a hit based on just how cringworthingly awful they really are and defiling an
awesomely terrible tune like Baby Got Back by making it even more ass focused
and not nearly as enjoyably dirty isn’t what I wanted to hear and in all
honesty there wasn’t any arguing what was the worst thing I heard this year
because while the other songs required a little explaining or had some decent
qualities this song is just pure trash in every sense of the word in all
honesty this song should ONLY be played by the dumbest drunkest whitest bitches
looking to just repeatedly go, “OH MY GOD BECKY LOOK AT HER BUTT,” and nobody
else because from beginning to end this is just bad.
Well people there we go My personal picks for the worst of
the year it’s not as thorough as the one that A Dose of Buckley made which I’dhighly advise you go check out for a very well put together list but it’s still
a pretty solid selection of awful so hopefully next year doesn’t have anywhere
near the cringeworthy tunes.
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