SO 2017 is about in the fucking books and OH BUDDY what a fucking year it was I'd honestly go to say that the music released this year wasn't nearly of the horrid quality that I can recall last year being but in all honesty it was a year of complete and utter NOTHING....minus of course my year end list which was ONLY THE BEST plus a few songs here and there that I missed due to me not giving a single fuck all about the radio I figured fuck it, fuck this year, fuck the radio, and FUCK the following set of songs that I'm about to mention because I haven't really done much bashing on this little blog of mine because everybody's an asshole just look at our commander in cunt we have serving but you know since I haven't been getting fucked up once a week for the past few months and I have a variety of pent up frustrations that I'm not going to go TOO into I figure I'd post to you guy's my picks for the top 5 WORST songs of 2017 and as a bonus every time you see me use a profanity of some variety take a shot cause that's honestly the only way I could think of muscling through the string of cancerous noise I'm about to slog through as I listen to the following tunes and tell you just HOW FUCKING AWFUL THEY ARE so get your shot glasses ready cause we're all gonna get fucked up.
(Links to all the selected levels of awful are in the names of each of the selections for the off chance you'd want to subject yourself to this torture which I here at Sam's Song of the Day to not endorse nor do I take any responsibility for any loss of hearing, common sense, or desire to live)
No that's not a typo folks to start this list I'm just going to put down an “ARTIST” that I kind of wish would just like to you know just go away.
I can't lie the Florida Georgia line exist so music literally can't get any worse which is about the nicest thing I can say about this waste of sperm and egg that is the Tumblr post personified that is Halsey the most dull and lifeless waste of musical air in existence and for some odd reason dumb ass basic bitches seem to want to support this so called artist and her same old same old trying to hard to be meaningful but just coming off bitchy tunes that use the most boring ass Trap beats, paper thin lyrics, a voice that sounds like Lorde and Ellie Goulding decided to do the fusion dance but lose all personality, and complete lack of any real reason to honestly listen to any more than the amount of time it takes you to immediately change the radio station.
It's honestly saying something when the only decent thing's this person has done is 1. make a song that's only good because it sounds like the only good Lorde song in existence(Ghost it's a knock off of Tenis court and yes Lorde sucks get over it your music taste are shit if you disagree with me) and 2. just barely be the better vocalist on a Chainsmokers tune and beyond that I don't know why she's been blessed with the success she has.
I can't point out any tune in particular because just hearing her on any given track should be enough to signal that the track is shit and you really should change it and never have it rotated again because you're only supporting cancer and nobody wants to do that.
This song is the Donald Trump of pop music it succeeded tremendously even though we ALL KNOW it was a mistake against humanity and only now after it's damage has been done are we now realizing the mistake that was made.
Yet even with that being common knowledge only the most mentally devoid of any intelligence continue to support this garbage with some awkward preconceived notion that it's actually really good and you only dislike it because of the fake liberal conspiracy brainwashing you to not follow the truest form of freedom which is the complete submission to the Conservative Christian agenda where all your personal rights should be taken away, your lifestyle demonized, you learn to hate brown folks, and you bow before a god that rules over all.......SORRY sorry I got a bit distracted there my inner conspiracy nut was coming through where were we again....OH yea this piece of fucking basic white bitch pumpkin spiced shit brew of a tune.
Ok let's be real here this song is every critics punching bag because it's a fairly ok first minute that immediately devolved into the mot obnoxious chorus that is a bit too similar to one hit wonders of the 90's that were never good even in a so bad it's good kind of way they were just always awful and I'm more than sure before we know it this song will be yet another Buzzfeed article of under appreciated tunes that were unjustly hated for their time to which at that time I'll still tell you that this song is garbage.
So if the last song was like Donald Trump I'd have to say that this song is what I'd assume the vast majority of Midwestern supporters of his head's sound like just the whitest of white trash nonsense.
I can't lie this piece of human filth may be a real genius because I've never heard an artist that knows their audience any better than this hillbilly fuck nut because for some odd reason I'll never understand why but Midwestern white folk fucking love this guy and his special brand of Hick Hop cultural decay and no song has managed to ever so successfully showcase why Country and Rap shouldn't ever be mixed....well the second most successful showcasing because again Florida Georgia please go die in a fucking plane crash you fucking asshole Line does still exist but god damn with the video included this song is an exceptionally perfect personification of why I personally think people hate cultural appropriation so much just to quote a person I know who is actually a fan of not only this guy's music but the genre he pioneered and coined as, “pure white trash.”
Yes sir let me tell you what I do believe this song is pure and utter white trash just some straight up no good garbage music by a garbage person who for some reason or another through used food stamps, dirty heroin needles, and chewing tobacco spit filled Budwiser cans like our commander in cuckhold is for some reason or another still famous and liked by a host of brainwashed Islam hating nitwits.
GOD BLESS THE FUCKING U.S.A.
Ugh and the best part of all of this is that since I'm a nobody this cock knocker will never probably read what I have to say I mean I doubt he has the reading comprehension skills to really understand actual walls of text but hey even if that isn't the case he's the type of mother fucker that well to quote the man, “Don't give a flying hillbilly fuck!”
But with that in mind I do have to say one thing Robert Ritchie I've personally meet quite a few mother fuckers quite like you and I can honestly say you aren't anything special and if you didn't appeal to the lowest common denominator you'd be another junkie in a gutter pitching a fit at our government for making you pay your child support and not sending your food stamps on time eat a dick you white trash piece of shit.
Oh hey something I don't have to not so subtlety accidentally add my own personal politics when discuss....wait a minute....SO now that I'm actually listening to this sober I uh.....got some shit to say about this glorified Melanie Martinez meet's Kids Bop track.
This song is utterly disgusting people it glorifies that creeptastic 33 cumming in 16 dude at the party that thinks he's hot shit cause he listens to shit music and fucks dumb ass teens that don't know any better than to like this guy that hooks them up with gutter well booze and weed so they can continue to feel some sense of rebellion.
They listen to this trap beat and lyrics about how they should go for a real mature man that, “Knows how to treat me,” when in all actually you're just easy pray for a human being that needs to grow up themselves and realize their a worthless piece of shit that should really re-evaluate their position in life and actually make a positive change because that kind of mentality isn't healthy to society in any way folks.
NOW if you can get past that ideological flaw in lyrical presentation this song at it's core is just a pretty paint by the numbers Melanie Martinez track of edge lord lyrics performed by a Lolita who is trying too hard over a beat that to it's credit is a banger but a very one dimensional banger that does nothing more than to provide noise to get fucked up to.
This song compared to the whole of this list is about the closest to a so bad it's good kind of tune but once you really sit down and look at it the flaws are just too strong to really ignore and yet somehow it isn't the worst song of the year because OH I thought alright there's no way this band could do any worse right?!?!?
You know those articles that trash conservative shit posters write about how Millennials ruin everything well it's shit like this that's why those type of articles exist.
MY FUCKING GOD DAMN by allah almighty some how SOME FUCKING HOW a songwriter in a stuido somewhere thought, “You know what's romantic...stealing one's hoodie and you know what those young kids these day's like, they like to use hoodies as a metaphor for long lost love because it smells like their partner because most people don't ever wash them,” and now we have this fucking song, like it's outright total eclipse of the heart levels of cheesy and if I thought these guy's sounded like some Radio Disney Garbage to begin with this song outright is proof bar none that you may as well not even try.
Seriously look up the lyrics to this song before you ever listen to it and tell me that this doesn't just look like some parody song but no they're actually playing it for real this song is suppose to actually be a sentimental ballad of sorts and all the lines about chewing the strings and how there's cigarette burns all over the fabric are suppose to really bring a sense of emotional vulnerability that showcases a long lost love that never was to be that's no fucking joke.
The only way I could think of this actually being of any real quality is to get as fucked up as humanly possible I mean smoke ALLLLLLLLL THE WEED, drink ALLLLLLLLL the beer, and hell why not put some lean in that drink because this song is by far worse than any other song you've heard this year like it's so bad I literally compared 2 other artist on this list to Donald Trump and I still think this is worse this song is so awful it makes me want to go to my nearest mosque pledge my life to Allah and rid myself of all sin and western ideological beliefs because I'm pretty sure I need a reason to live now.
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NAH I'm just fucking with you I'm probably going to just go play tetris and listen to music that doesn't make me want to give up on the world around me and type stupid shit on the internet, but yeah there ya go my picks of the worst songs of the year I hope you never listen to any of this garbage Happy new years and stay tuned for a special post from me on the 29th.
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